We have heard many conversations lately concerning
negative treatment. Imagine that you
have just been mistreated, perhaps physically, mentally or emotionally. As a result, you are not only hurt but you
are also angry and want revenge. What do
you do about this? How will you react - in
thought and in action?
Throughout life, I am sure you have heard
the statement “Two wrongs do not make a right”.
Do we just sit by idly and let negative action slide?
This may not be the first time you have
been victimized by this individual. Last
time, you may have done absolutely nothing.
Is this why it has happened again?
Perhaps your lack of action has made it easier for this individual to
repeat their actions but YOU ARE NEVER responsible for someone else’s
actions.
If you are suffering physical abuse, take
action to protect yourself. If it is
your partner, it is time to reassess your relationship. If it is a friend or acquaintance, it is time
to reassess this relationship. No one
has the right to physically harm you. If
you live in fear because of this individual, seek assistance. Love yourself enough to ensure you are safe
and can be happy.
If you are suffering from emotional or
mental abuse, the same response is warranted.
There are certainly times in life when
someone will speak hurtful words (without intent) and may not even be aware of
the pain they have inflicted. Sometimes
in anger, we can say things that are exaggerated and hurtful. Talking through these situations most often
has a positive response. Each of us may
have emotional triggers that no one else is aware of. Talking about what was said more often than
not uncovers unresolved issues that may have nothing to do with the individual
that triggers the emotional hurt.
Even if the words were intentional, talking
it through can get to the bottom of why harsh words were exchanged. It is better to resolve issues than to let
them fester and become bigger than life.
Forgiveness is a wonderful response. Do not live under the dark cloud of someone
else’s actions or words. These are
things that you cannot control and are not yours to own. They are a reflection of the individual that
acted, not you.
If you are the individual that said the hurtful
words, it takes a strong person to admit they were wrong or said the wrong
thing, even in the heat of an argument.
Admitting your error and taking action to correct it will go along way
and says something about you as an individual.
If the words strike home because they have
a flavour of truth, it also takes a strong individual to step up and apologize
under these circumstances as well.
If you feel the desire for vengeance and
really want to get even, recognize that although you might actually feel temporary
relief after the action, it is just that, temporary. Buddha has been quoted as saying “Holding
on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it
at someone else; you are the one who gets burned”.
We will heal if we choose to let go and not
own the actions or words used.
Forgiveness is a giant step forward in healing. There have been some very meaningful
relationships formed through these types of first meetings or interactions.
Let love be your guide. Come from a place of love and peace for self
and for all others. If we truly look for
this, it can easily be found because this is our true identity.
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