THE NEED FOR PERSONAL SPACE YET CLOSENESS

The need for our own personal space and yet the need to be close to our partners is often a personal dilemma shared by many. 

We all need and want to be loved and appreciated.  We expand in the embrace of loved shared.  We also, however, need our own personal space and the ability to move in whatever direction we see fit to grow as an individual. 

Many couples are confronted with this paradox. 

Are you being smothered in a tight and loving relationship?  

Do you feel as though you are being cornered or contained in your relationship?  

Are you no in a personal relationship by choice or with hesitation? 

Being single or in an open relationship gives way to doing what you want when you want without having to answer to anyone but yourself.  This is preferred by some but offers insecurity and possibly loneliness for others.

Being in a close personal relationship means sharing our lives with someone we love and never feeling alone.  However there will be days when we need our own space and the demands of our partner may be trying.

In a perfect world, we have a balance of both and it is achievable as long as there is give and take on both sides in a partnership relationship.  Finding someone who gives us space to live our life as we feel necessary can be rare, yet if we truly love someone, we don’t mind giving up a little personal freedom in order to share.  True love is unconditional! 

It is essential that we are open and communicate with our partner if we have chosen to share this life with them.   It is important to discuss our own personal needs, so that others know what we are experiencing and what we expect.  Just as important, we should allow our partner to be open with us and respect their needs.  A partnership is equal give and take without keeping tabs or score. 

Spend a few minutes each day in quiet solitude even if only for a short walk, a shower or a quiet meditation.  These little practices will provide us with personal space.  

On the other side of the coin, create special moments together such as a romantic dinner without the television or telephone interrupting.  Wouldn’t it be nice to take a stroll through a park hand in hand? 

We can even take care of both needs….why not meditate together holding hands.  The mind has its personal space but the knowing of love can fill our heart. 

One thing is for certain; other people’s needs are important but so are our own; talk it out.

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