The Art of Forgiveness

In times of depression or deep sadness due to someone else’s actions, are we still able to forgive--even the most intrusive behaviours or actions?  Are we able to separate the self from the ego’s reaction?  Are we emotionally mature enough to reject hate and bitterness due to someone’s action?  Regardless of the event or the intentions, is there forgiveness?  How do we “allow” and move forward?

Hostility, revenge, hate.....these are automatic primary reactions.  Forgiveness, however, is not always an easy task.  Letting go and moving beyond the hurt can be difficult, as the ego relentlessly wants some type of justice.  But, these that are the hardest things to do, are the very things that we must do for our own health and wellbeing.  Events may not seem fair and in many cases they probably are not, but somehow we must learn to forgive even the most formidable acts but not necessarily for those that carried them out.  Most of all, we must let go for ourselves.

Hanging on to hate and wanting vengeance absolutely serves no purpose.  In reality, the emotional stress of carrying this baggage can and will bring on mental and physical dis”ease”.  

How do we learn to forgive when someone takes away something we treasure, such as our resilience, our serenity or our hope?  Unfortunately, many of these individuals that hurt other and have a total disregard for their actions are so discontent with their own lives that they feel (whether consciously or unconsciously) that they need to try to bring others to their emotional state.  We have all heard the term “Misery needs company”.  Feeling sad, lonely and unloved is a difficult place to exist.

There are many reasons people allow themselves to exist under these conditions.  They may have developed emotionally under similar conditions...not knowing anything different.  They may have experienced events in their life that they have not worked through or there could be mental or other emotional conditions.  Does this negate the atrocities that some of these individuals commit?  Does it somehow make it alright?  Not to those that have suffered at their hands or from their words. 

The individuals that are the most difficult to love, are they not the individuals that require our love the most?  We must however know our own limitations and if our emotional or physical health suffers as a result of something out of our control, we must love ourselves enough to walk away from the situation.

To live our lives in pursuit of justice and/or revenge and to allow ourselves to be filled with hate can only bring us in a place of sorrow, anger, resentment and disease.  These emotional places will never offer solace and peace.  Letting go and forgiving is perhaps one of the hardest thing that we will have to do in our lives.  Holding on to grief and resentment can and will only erupt within the structures of our being and its fruit produces only more suffering.

Many hold onto and eventually own these repressive feelings.  Many do not consciously realize that this is a choice and by making this choice we perpetuate these feelings of grief and torment.  What we so despise in others, we grow in our own inner garden.    If we despise hate and anger in others, do those individuals that we come in contact throughout our lives not despise our anger and resentment in the same way?

Forgiveness breaks the cycle.  Inner peace will never be found without forgiveness.  Those that have wronged us may not deserve our forgiveness, but WE do! 

Karma will be the judge and the jury.  It does not need your help or focus. 

If these individuals will not accept your love and are not willing to help themselves, forgive and release yourself from the situation.  Wish them well in the hopes that they learn from their life’s experiences.  Allow love to grow even from of the darkest corners of your being and reap the rewards from these actions.   This is the story waiting to be told.

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