YOUR CHILDREN’S RESPONSIBILITIES

This post is written for parents, grandparents and those of you that have friends with adult children.  It seems that many parents lay the blame on themselves for their adult children’s actions or lack thereof.  Many of us have spent our lives dedicated to raising our children and now that they are grown and living their own lives, we still feel responsible for them.  When children stumble along their life’s path, some parents believe that it was the way they were raised or something that the parent did wrong that steered the children in the direction they are travelling.

Young adults are capable of knowing what they should or should not being doing in their life.  The decisions they make are their own.  We must all take responsibility for ourselves but we cannot control what someone else wants or does not want to do.  Each and every one of us made mistakes as we matured.  These are the hard lessons in life but the ones that we remember and grow from.  There comes a time in each person’s life when we must take responsibility for our own doings.  When we make a decision, we must own it and cannot lay blame elsewhere.  As a parent it is hard to stand back and watch but if our assistance is not wanted, we must accept this and allow our children to learn what they must.

Next time your adult child makes a conscious decision that enrolls them into the School of Hard Knocks, it is important to support them emotionally and let them know that they are still loved.  Is it not in their best interest, however, to allow them to own their choices and learn the lesson at hand?  As we all learned from our own mistakes, so will they.  Hopefully, they take the shortest route to understanding, but they need to learn their own life lessons in their own way and at their own pace.

Stand back without judgement and let them grow.  Let them live their lives and learn from life as we did.  By trying to fix their problems for them, you teach them to be reliant and they will never understand how to be self-sufficient or know the feeling of accomplishment.  There will be times in their lives when they have to make decisions on their own, do not take this ability away from them.  If they learn to deal with the little lessons in life, they will be capable of dealing with the larger ones later in life.

We are here to provide them with our guidance and support, but letting them learn their own lessons allows them to be independent.  Is this not what every parent wants for their child?  Allow your children the satisfaction of validate themselves and to find the strength they will need from time to time in life--the strength that resides deep within the reservoir of each of us.  Have faith in them and allow them to soar!

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