For all parents there comes a time in our lives that our
children are maturing and developing into adulthood. This is a challenging time as well as an
exciting time. We, as parents, have experience
and we want to lend a gentle hand of guidance and offer the security that our
children still need, although apparently they may not perceive our gestures in
the light that they were intended.
Our maturing children are entering this new stage of life
with their eyes wide open. They are
ready and willing to grab hold of opportunities as well as take gambles with
relative ease. They will learn valuable
lessons because of this attitude. As
parents, we support them. We offer
advice although subjective in nature and in a gentle fashion, and we guide them
along their venture as best we can. They
are open to everything although it may not appear this way and everything we
say and do provide them with something of significance even though they may
seem reluctant on the surface.
It can be a difficult as a parent to stand by their side giving
support to their plans and dreams as we know that this journey will be a
challenging one. It is wise to offer advice
and then step back to allow them to digest as insistence on our part will only
be met with frustration and aggression.
In many cases, at this age they are head strong and will follow their
own judgement and will advance in their chosen direction regardless of our
input, so we have to know when to let go and step aside.
As far as assistance and we are primarily speaking of
financial assistance right now, we can help when necessary but hopefully the
ground work of responsibility was laid long ago. With ground work in place, we step back and
trust in the lessons already taught.
If they acknowledge and are appreciative that we have
provided them with loving support through guiding step or financial support to make
life easier than our gestures are not in vain.
If on the contrary they waste this opportunity and squander our efforts
then we will know better when the next time arrives, as under these
circumstances they undoubtedly will. There
are always times to help and then it is important to recognize that there are
times when our financial generosity is not helpful; it is actually detrimental
to their maturation and development of self-reliance.
When these young individuals meet up with life’s challenges
which you know they will, the best we can do is offer our emotional support and
guidance and then stick with them through thick and thin regardless of their
decision. They need emotional support
during these trying times and we are well equipped to assist them in this
manner for no one loves them more. When
they make mistakes and take what we consider wrong turns in life, they need our
emotional support even more, but we also have to keep in mind the workings of
the universe and that things happen for a reason. The school of hard knocks always has their
best interests at heart.
You do however have to know when the time is right to stop subsidizing
their finances and let them stand on their own two feet. Let them take life by the horns and run with
it. What great lessons these are in
self-sufficiency, confidence, etc.
Being a parent and offering loving support never ends and
our children have to know that they can always depend on us for this type of
support. Whatever you felt was missing
in your youth can now be utilized with mature insight and worldly education. We have all walked similar roads to that
which are growing children now venture. Support
them every step of the way but let them be responsible for themselves and their
actions.
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